Funny jokes 'n stuff

[Ether]

I've been wanting to laugh at something (other than other's stupidity) for awhile now, so all I ask is for the people of the heRO forums to post jokes, quotes, stories, pictures, etc. that they've heard or seen. They don't even have to be funny! (although it would be nice if they were)

Please keep them clean and label whether they are a joke, quote etc.

Here's some I've found:

Quotes:
"You laugh because I'm different... I laugh because I just farted!"
"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?"

Jokes:
So it's kindergarten and the teacher says "Okay, we're going to play 'Red Light, Green Light'" but when she says that, one of the little boys starts crying.
"What's the matter?" she asked him.
"I'm colorblind!" he said.

[Yuriohs]

Whats a word that describes Power Rangers and Pokemon?

Forever Played

[Earl]

Dont risk your life by smoking...
Chuck Norris doesnt like cigars >:D

[robetjems]

Hello Everyone,

Here is a funny one.

When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple
days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard
some strange noises coming from the area where Mozart was buried.
Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it.
The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave,
listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Mozart's Ninth Symphony,
being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony,
And it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."
So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the
Sixth...the Fifth..." Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned
on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the
cemetery. "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Mozart decomposing."

[mahawirasd]

wow the above bot was actually smart enough to post a coherent post...

anyhoo... why did the chicken cross the road at peak hour?
to get to the other side...


-w-

[Reynolds]

On the honeymoon, the wife makes a confession to her husband:
-You know Jack, I've already been with a man.
-No problem, me too.


Three owls sit on a tree. The first says:
-I got a new watch
-That's nothing, I got a cow.
So the third:
-O shit, I didn't get anything,
On the other day, the three owls sits on the same tree.
The first says:
-My watch's stolen.
-F*ck - says the second one - my cow's stolen.
So the third:
-Oh my god! It's 5:30? It's time to milk!


I hope I translated these well

[Story Teller]

o.O

does that mean that the thrid owl stole both watch and cow?

[Ling]

... yes story yes

watch: "oh man its 5:30"
cows: "time to milk"