arent you alive now? or are you implying you are an undead?
in which case we can always resurrect you, mwahahaha
::EDIT::
oh i discovered something. if you freeze a watermellon in the freezer and then return it to the fridge, the water will break the cells causing the thing to feel like meat. although it will just taste like a gooey watermellon.
i makes a pretty good fake meat if you cut off the white part of the fruit.