Shiftless Fate of the Abominating Warrior; The Story of Kalcurz

Thread Rating:

0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
1
2
3
4
5

Linear Mode

Shiftless Fate of the Abominating Warrior; The Story of Kalcurz

Zerrif Offline

One of Many

Posts: 415
Threads: 71
Joined: Aug 2009

RE: Shiftless Fate of the Abominating Warrior; The Story of Kalcurz

I'm going to nitpick as a fellow writer, and urge you to keep your tenses. You jump a lot from past to present tenses (have instead of had, is instead of was).

But other than the grammatical nitpicks, very good Kal! Tragic, but poignant.

Gerik - Some noob Battle High Priest
Shichiro - Some noob AD
Muarim - Some noob smith

I'm just a noob.

[Image: TeaCyber.jpg]

10-12-2009, 12:40 PM

Find

« Next Oldest | Next Newest »

Messages In This Thread

Shiftless Fate of the Abominating Warrior; The Story of Kalcurz - by Finitevus - 10-06-2009, 03:32 PM

RE: Shiftless Fate of the Abominating Warrior; The Story of Kalcurz - by Story Teller - 10-06-2009, 05:03 PM

RE: Shiftless Fate of the Abominating Warrior; The Story of Kalcurz - by Zerrif - 10-12-2009, 12:40 PM

RE: Shiftless Fate of the Abominating Warrior; The Story of Kalcurz - by Finitevus - 02-24-2011, 11:35 AM

RE: Shiftless Fate of the Abominating Warrior; The Story of Kalcurz - by Summerstream - 03-01-2011, 07:41 AM

RE: Shiftless Fate of the Abominating Warrior; The Story of Kalcurz - by Finitevus - 03-02-2011, 12:30 PM

RE: Shiftless Fate of the Abominating Warrior; The Story of Kalcurz - by Summerstream - 03-02-2011, 04:21 PM

RE: Shiftless Fate of the Abominating Warrior; The Story of Kalcurz - by Rankin - 03-02-2011, 05:04 PM

RE: Shiftless Fate of the Abominating Warrior; The Story of Kalcurz - by Summerstream - 03-02-2011, 08:16 PM

View a Printable Version

Login
Username:
Password:	Lost Password?
	Remember me