Meet a friend, lose an enemy! [Event]

[pnutbuttajelly]

Guys, I've had real life issues too, and that's part of the reason why I won't be attending this event. The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum...it's breathtaking-I highly suggest you try it. Have you acquired the knowledge thus far that there are people who suffer from conditions beyond their control, and are naturally in that state? My aunty, for instance, happens to be a person of that nature. She is a crane operator that has bad joints and a bad spine from operating the crane but you probably lack empathy for that case also. I don't fall under this category as I am 6'5, 300lbs and lift weights everyday.