Before I can change my mind, here is Stars. Still don't like how it mixed, but this is the best I could come up with.
Kroggles ensures the living stay living, and the dead stay dead.
Clobberella beats you up.
Teela Brown has a birdie!
Flosshilde communes with the very souls of the damned.
Walsung is actually pretty cool. For a guy made of metal.