long distance relations

[AllusiveMaid]

There are many things to consider but the biggest one you have to think of is a. is this a person i think i could spend the rest of my life with and b. are they worth it. I know that sounds kinda harsh but you have to think people who are old enough to have long distance realtionships are generally looking for "the one" they are going to marry sometime. If this is the case then you want to make sure this person is worth the missing eachother like mad, phone calls to say good night instead of a kiss, video confrencing instead of time together.

some of the down sides : well i just listed some, you dont get to see eachother often, it can put a strain on your other friendships, it can hurt the pocketbook, you are more prone to depression, you may make the realtionship move alot faster bc you dont see eachother often, you can never be sure if the other is being truthful if you susupect they are cheating.

upsides: you will cherish your time together more, it may seem like an eternity before you see eachother again BUT BUT BUT . . . this is just a small fragment of the rest of your lives togthter, you will grow a stronger bond because you cherish eachother more, you will get to see what it is like to be "married" to the other person because your time together will be exclusive to w/e town one or the other lives in, if you break you you dont have to worry about running into them

Things to remember, and i'll say it again, if this works out, its just a short fragment of time apart compaired to the rest of your life, dont let a relationship with someone cause you to ignore your friends b/c you spend every free moment you have visiting that person, NEVER be the one doing all the travelling (if you are at college its a little different b/c then you tend to see the person when you come home to see your rents for the w/e and holidays), be honest to your heart!!!

I have had several LD realtionships in the past and the one problem i had is the relationship can fall weak when the one person "gives up" or does not have the drive that you do to keep it going, i had that problem when i was engaged to a guy and he just forgot why he loved me, it was painful but i got over it.

So yea, its just all about following your heart, doing what is right for YOU and remembering the time apart now is just tempoary.

[Marbhfhaisc]

currently., I am in one with a fellow member of HeRO.. and we live about 800 to 900 miles away.. im in Chicago.. and shes in N.C....
and if htey work or not.. well it depends on ho wmuch you care for them.... me.. i love her with all my heart.. and were dealing with teh distance.. it has its moments of just complete.. sadness from missing eachother.. but.. each time i do get to go travel down there, (attempts at once a month. but usually between 4 to 6 weeks inbetween each visit), it is just.. amazing.. but i talk to her for hours each nihgt. .racking up more then 6,000 minutes each month just talkingto her..
some people might look and say it isnt worth it.. teh hardships you go through.. but.. it really is if you love the person that much... i have plans to one day be able to be as close as i can to her.. but.. we have set requirements determined befor that part follows through

they work if you care for teh person enough to work.. most cases where they fail may generally be out of jellousy, or undertrust in the other person or if you are in it for other reasons other then to wish it were to last for the rest of both's lives..

[Cloudy-Chan]

Aye Ayeee~

I was with this guy from Holland (I am in Australia) so he was all the way over the other side of the world, we were in this long distance relationships for about a year and a half, The relationship was draining, on my mind and body as I had to have weird sleeping patterns just to talk to him online I had school and that,

after a while he came to see me in Australia is was great but then he went back, after about another year he came back to live for a while, and yeah it was good for a while, but then I found out that he really wasn?t the one that I wanted to spend my life with
1. he was my first serious relationship
2. I wanted to experience more of the world and other people/relationship.
3. He was quite boring and I was getting quite depressed in not doing anything with my life (not trying to be mean but it's the truth).

So I made a very big decision to break it off, I still feel quite bad as he had to go all the way back to Holland and he was quite upset that I didn't think it was going to work but I defiantly think I made the right decision.
I am now with an Australian guy a lot closer and I can say that I am a lot happier this way, he is a very different guy.

[wussypuff]

my husband is british and i'm american. we had a long distance relationship for a year and a half. i went to visit him for 3 months and he visited me for 2 months...but even so it was hard.

we chatted online nearly every day, talked on the phone every day when possible (found a REALLY cheap place to get phone cards: pinplan.com), and used webcams so we could see each other. made it bearable.

we'd also send each other care-packages when we could. i sent him a cuddly stuffed dog and sprayed it with my perfume so he could snuggle it when he missed me. sounds dorky, but we still have that dog to this day

now we've been happily married for 4 1/2 years :D (well...MOSTLY happily...i mean come on, we ARE married)

long distance relationships are TOTALLY doable, and i think maybe a touch better than being together irl. you get to know a LOT about the other person, and it's about an emotional relationship before a physical one.

EDIT: i should mention i was 17 when i met him and we got married when i was 19. i'm now 24 and am still EXTREMELY grateful for him. he's my babe

[funkyfly]

o_O wow , faolin's my hero. I have to say that LDR is easier to do now compared to earlier times due to technological advances. Now we have emails, sms, voice mails, webcams etc. Back then you only relied on written letters and there was NO GUARANTEE that the receiver would even get them. LDRs nowadays are spoiled with choices.

Another note to consider, you could say its a re-wording of my original statement back in the first page; love is not all about luvey duvey stuff and it takes hard work and sacrifice

[Cloudy-Chan]

Yeah, but it doesn't always work out aswell, and it really is HARD WORK.

I live with my Australian bf we were long distance, but at least in the same country and not very far away, I didn't want to wait too long to meet him because of what happened last time, I was really over long distance stuff, i'm glad I found someone who was worth it this time hehe.

Faolin you did something I never could do, I don't think I would ever marry someone so that I could live in their country.

[AllusiveMaid]

my baby brother met this old hag on his video game .. at the time he was 22 she was 37 with a 11 year old ... she ended up ripping that child from her family to live here b/c my brother is too much of a momma's boy .. since that creature has tried to ruin my family. The only reason my mother talks to my brother is b/c he produced her a grandchild (and i LOVE my lil niece to pieces and she always loves the toys i get her the best makes her mom hate me even more **snicker snicker**)

[Cloudy-Chan]

That doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship at all o_o

now why would your brother go for such an older woman lol..

[Sekaru]

been in one my two cents is you can't trust who's eyes you cannot see. Lying on the internet is too easy for a long distance relationship. in my oppinion

[GM-Ayu]

According to statistics, 1 in 8 couples met up online.

(Up to you to decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing.)